Mullah whose eyes were Telescopes!

Mind you! It is no ordinary telescope! It is CELESTRON 11074-XLT that is Ergonomically-designed handling make this telescope suitable for the high-tech individual to handle alone, despite its larger aperture. Gathers 33% more light than an 8-inch. An ordinary brat like us needs to have  £2,149.00 in his pocket if he really wants to see the birth of new Ramadan moon. But, in my views, West is so naive and irrational that it has been spending tremendous amount of money into what they call Modern Astronomy. To their utter dismay: our Mullahs here in Peshawar are divinely gifted with telescopic eyes so that they are able to sight the birth of new moon even when scientifically (mind you: this science is just propaganda of kafirs to divert us from our religion!) it is not possible to be seen anywhere near KPK in general. However, as newspapers reported that Mullahs of Masjid Qasim Khan refuted meteorologists and other breed of neo-scientific Mullahs by reportedly saying that what would they prefer if Science and Religion stand face-to-face opposing each other? And one can jolly well comprehend their answer. Who wants to be declared kafir by pro-Taliban Mullahs of Masjid Qasim of Peshawar that too when you don’t even belong to their Deobandi School of Thought? No one wants to die, seriously!

Well, the other thing is that Mullahs and their witnesses (all having eyes that are telescopes) are always critical of the sighting of moon on three occasions: Ramadan and two Eids. Why didn’t we hear them criticizing the sighting of Shabaan moon or Moharram moon? Scientifically speaking (Am I allowed to talk about this Kufriya thing?), a lunar month is of duration of 29.6 days. So if you round it off depending upon the birth of new moon, of course, you get either 29 or 30 days but it can never be less or more than that. Our Mullahs who are divinely gifted with eyes that are hi-tech telescopes have some months that are as short as 26 days… Well, of course, I don’t want to be kafir and assume that our beloved Ulema are wrong. I don’t want to be cast down in hell because it is Allah’s prerogative to make moon visible whenever He decides. Let it be 26 days or let it be 34! I will stand by our  Ulema!

Of course this is a matter of great harassment and embarrassment for us. Once a Jewish friend of mine asked me that why here in Pakistan people celebrate same holiday on four different times? Being in Israel, he was familiar with the customs of Muslims (OMFG!!! Am I allowed to make friends with Jewish? God will throw me into deepest chamber of abyss because I am friendly with Jewish!!!)… I had no answer! I was not so thrilled to tell him that we are bestowed by Allah Subhaho Taala with Mullahs who are of extraordinary caliber and they have eyes that are hi-tech enough to sight moons whenever they really appear! And, mind you, don’t dare to ask how it is possible to sight the moon with naked-eye when NASA is predicting that there are not even 0.000000001% chance of sighting anywhere near Pakistan; leave alone KPK! The answer is that NASA is basically a tool of Satan and it is acting to distract Muslims from observing the fasts on proper time because Satan fears that Muslims will torment him by fasting and feasting and repenting so he just wishes himself one more day of serenity.

And of course we torment Satan so much when we increase the price of common food items 400 folds in Ramadan! He is sick to death after seeing tomatoes being sold at Rs 124 per Kg…. And, well, FYI tijarah is a holy profession that Allah and Prophet recommended so it is hell OK if you sell onions at rates 400 times more than they were before Ramadan. It is perfectly OK to create artificial shortages of things and hoard sugar and flour to increase prices. It is your possession and you have divine permission to hoard it and not to sell it or sell it at the rates you desire! I don’t understand one thing though. Why Kafirs have big sales on their religious holidays such as Christmas, Easter, Hunakah and Rosh Ha Shana? Ummm, they are fools!   Ultimate fools, I must say!

Talking about Calenders, a common incident that is a proof that Muslim followed Jewish Calender can be seen in the beginning of Hijri calender,  when Prophet came to Medina and saw Jews keeping Yom-e-Kippur that is 10th day of 7th Month called Tishri in Hebrew. Well, Hijri Calender marks it as Yom-e-Aashur on 10th of Moharram that is first month of Islamic Calender but divine year starts in Rajab (that is 7th month) with Lailatul Barat commemorated as the day when God decides matters of the coming year. This is kind of parallel with Yom-e-Kippur but the exchange of months seem like a historical mistake. Anyways, the point of this whole fiasco is that Muslims did celebrate Yom-e-Kippur (or Ashura) with Jews every year so there was consensus among them on calender. Jewish calender is lunar in nature but it is equalized with seasons by addition of thirteen month called Adhar-Sani.

Anyways, who can argue with Mullahs here. They have best knowledge of Calender and it is not lawful to add months to a calender because Allah said Himself that there are 12 months in His records. This whole mathematics fiasco is another attempt by Shaytaan to divert Muslim’s mind from true religion! Well, about those who tried it before during Abbasid Caliphate such as Al-Bayruni and Ibn-Hathim, they were Kafir and like it is said pious for pure and sinner for evil, their books went to Europe where they were taught and we Muslims enjoyed debating about REAL issues such as how long should be the length of one’s trouser and how wide one can stretch his legs during Prayer. Not to mention what thoughts should be thought and what things make one kafir. It also includes praising Kafirs and don’t you get distracted from your true path because of the Scientific advancement of kafirs! Allah has just given them freehand and he will soon send Taliban with rains of fire on them!!

Well, even if Mullahs want to remain stick to their outdated astronomy and their gifted eyes, why don’t some sane Muslim leaders all over the globe unite together and declare one place (Mecca or Medina) as the place for sighting moon to end this fiasco? If Mullahs have problem with scientific calculations then there can be a very good solution of declaring a country as the place of sighting moon (such as Indonesia or Turkey) so that all Muslims celebrate their holidays on same days all over the world…


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