McBurqa Guys: I’M Loving it…..!

Pity, innit? This new synonym can not be called as my sole invention. I credit Jahanzeb Haque – a renound  cartoonist from young Urban Pakistan – as it’s inventor but I want to take on as a mentor to explain the ideology behind McBurqa. We all have come across this type actually but we don’t get the name that actually suits them. McBurqa guys are very common sight now. I have been observing a McBurqa since last 7 years and I think this is the high time to let the world know about my sheer observations.

McBurqa guys can be distinctly divided into two types. Both types are interdependent on each other some way. We are going to discuss the common Pakistani breed of McBurqa guys (conversely McPurdah girls). First signs that a typical McBurqa would exhibit are of becoming a pet of boys belonging to the Burger Class of this country. You will see a McBurqa guy following and befriending the Burger Class and enjoying the cheesy details of the many things that make you Burger if you are one. These McBurqa guys are very critical of the freedom of women and will present arguments like ghairat, behayai, Westernization against emancipation of women of this country. On the contrary, you will see them with their burger friends enjoying Bird Watching and the bulge that comes as torment of Shaytaan.

These McBurqa guys befriend people who don’t even share their views (and most of the time these McBurqas themselves are not believer of their own views) and hangout with them for some reason. I want to ask these McBurqa men that why do they laud their friends and hang around with them (who accept your little help in their studies as payment for keeping you with them) when you abhor their way of life? Isn’t it hypocrisy that you are so critical of? I didn’t understand this behavior of McBurqa guys until recently. I think McBurqa guys are suffering from a certain complex.

A McBurqa guy will argument about everything under the sun and will, obviously, criticize every sane thing and will threaten you if you dare to try something sane. But as cartoon says, “it is too hot for me to protest”, a McBurqa guy will never ever accept the reality. Instead you will see him shifting sides in the defense of his Ghairat theory.

A Litmus-Test for the identification of McBurqa guys can be conducted very easily. A typical Pakistani McBurqa will be very critical of USA (whereas we see that many McBurqa guys have moved to Europe, Australia and America themselves!) and the policies of West towards Islamic World and Pakistan particularly. They will talk about Deep Conspiracy hatched in Pentagon to destroy our bum that makes us invincible. Because, according to McBurqas, our bum is our Gherat and it guards our right to export terrorists and suicide bombers all over the world so anyone who speaks against terrorists and the groups currently under the patronage of certain elements within the establishment as ghaddar kafir! I never knew that praising our bum has also become a pillar of Islam along with the 5 others that I knew.

But again: let it not surprise you that McBurqa guys don’t support terrorists. These extremists are animals and killers. And, well, of course they will say that they don’t know even the names of entities supporting these extremist animals such as Jamaat-e-Islami, Islami Jamiat-e-Tulba, Hizb-e-Tehrir and Jamaat-ud-Dawa. Mmmm, well, this is partly correct because these McBurqas have little knowledge of the real world especially real Pakistan so they cannot see anything especially what these entities are doing to Pakistan. Well, many McBurqas will close their eyes and will say that this country is democracy and these people who are rallying and bullying on streets are protecting our bum.

Another lame argument that McBurqa guys will present against cleansing of Taliban and Al-Qaeeda is that 9/11 was also an American Conspiracy and these patriotic elements who are killing Pakistanis in suicide blasts and bomb attacks are actually doing it as reaction. So this means that if you want to get rid of them then you need to surrender to them. Uh no! It doesn’t matter to McBurqa guys because they are not even in Pakistan now! And let’s not forget about Good Talib, Bad Talib theory that is most favorite theory of all McBurqa guys.

And if you have carefully noticed the cartoon above you have understood the ideology of a true Pakistani McBurqa. If you daresay that why you McBurqa guys are so supportive of Islamists and Islamic fanatics when you are so wasted and yourself are in league with West when it comes to your own lifestyle. Some of you are residing in Europe and America itself where you see your drunken friends and the whores they bring in for some weekend fun. Why are you so supportive of Islamic extremism? After running out of arguments, they would throw your own points over you. And you will be branded as beghairat, kafir and Liberal!.

Well, Inqilaab, Ghairat and Arab Spring are common rhetoric of McBurqa guys. Of course, they know nothing about Egypt or Arabia or, well, as a matter of fact about Pakistan too but their arguments and rhetoric is all full with Inqilaab and this kind of shit. And they will brand you Yahudi, Agent of Mosaad and Zionist when you talk a bit sane about Israel. Well, then how can you forget when you try sounding alarmed over the looming annihilation of your country in front of a McBurqa. He will not tolerate as he firmly believes that our bum can save us not only from other countries’ bums but also from the monsters of Hunger and Poverty! Shame, seriously! Of course as Isaiah who is an old biblical prophet prophesied about Writing of the Wall visible only to those who were sane enough to understand the looming destruction of Nebuchadnezzar from the signs inside Jerusalem but Joaish and Ghairat Brigade of ancient Jerusalem during the time of Isaiah didn’t understand and what happened next is not a secret. Oh my! Am I allowed to give Jewish and Biblical examples?

While going through the Manifesto of Ande Beverik , I was shocked. I don’t blame him to be Islamophobic and things people are saying to him. I see him as victim of these McBurqa Pakistani guys. The argument that clicked me that Pakistani (McBurqas living in Norway) brand all ethnic Norwegian girls as “whores” and condemn lifestyle of Western people as cursed because it is equally opposite to Islam. But Ande was disgusted to see the hypocrisy of these McBurqas. Condemning the lifestyle of Norwegian people and living in Norway on the expanses of State…

Ande didn’t understand that why are these Muslim men are living in Norway and not in Waziristan and FATA! He chose a bad path though but I blame McBurqas for this tragedy. You live in Norway, dance in clubs, take on “Norwegian Whores” and yet you support Islamic extremism and fanaticism. Why? He didn’t get any answer from McBurqas. He rightly feared Pakistanization of Europe though!

There is stratospheric concentration of McBurqa guys in one particular entity called Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaaf and Immi K Fan club. What they have been saying doesn’t worth enough to be mentioned right now. You know it already. So McBurqas! Please don’t blast with loud bang and threat me!

Imma inqilaab your ass! 😀


6 thoughts on “McBurqa Guys: I’M Loving it…..!

  1. Asma says:

    Fantastic assessment and i do agree on your views of Ande being the victim of the McBurqas. It made me think of so many other victims of these McBurqas within Pakistan!

  2. Rehan says:

    100% agree with everything you said, except the Ande Beverik part because that the same argument our psycho people are using in favor of talibani terrorism, blame their terrorist behavior on usa and west

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